I do not think those who have made me feel bad in my life intentionally set out to do so, I just believe there are certain tones you use to speak to someone in order for them to understand what you are trying to say. If you yell at someone and tell them that the decisions they are making are stupid, that individual is more likely to not hear anything but they are stupid and run with it. If you ask an individual if they understand what they are doing and have questions following the main one you ask, you have a better chance of the person seeing the deeper issues of their actions on their own. I feel as though people become so deeply involved on an emotional level that the effort to help someone turn into a form of chastisement.
Being someone that comes from a background of trauma I found myself being harder on someone that I wish would just get the bigger picture of how bad the “little things” are destroying their destiny to be great. I would hold them to such a high standard without really understanding if they hear what I am saying or if they are processing and understanding it. I would never plug the variables in properly, so when I thought I knew and understood exactly where they were, their actions would show me otherwise. Later on I learned it’s not that they didn’t get the picture, I just had to take a step back and give them the time they needed for what they were taught to kick in.
Unlearning what you were taught takes time. Imagine being a machine that was great at reading data that was created to be processed in that specific machine, the machine will always spew out the correct results; What if one day someone brought data cards that the machine was not created read and put them inside that exact machine?, the results are more likely to be incorrect read if read at all. The machine was programmed a long time ago to only process a certain type of data. As humans our brains are the same way we have to learn to reprogram which may take some time but will only happen IF we are consistent in the reprogramming process.
We have to learn to take heed to the ones progressing without making them feel worse or less than about their mistakes. It is not our place to tell another human being who is learning and progressing just as we are how long the process should take. We must simply hope and trust that when the timing is right they figure things out and learn to walk with them at the pace they are at. If you’re planting your seeds eventually they will sprout and grow but if the roots are not given time to flourish before you dig the entire plant up, Was it really a bad seed or are there a few more things about gardening you should learn?